Morning #3

I wake up in the morning and pain washes over me. My nerves are gone, I am shaking all the time. My stomach is empty and rolling over inside me. My body is heavy and moves in slow motion. I want to lay in bed and stare out the window at life continuing, but when I lay there my mind goes to a dark place. So I get up, I get dressed, I try to focus...ignoring the sick feeling until it becomes a mind numbing pounding in my head. I just want it to end. My sweet perfect daughter hugs me and tells me she loves me. She asks me to be her friend and to love her for a long time. her sweet smile brings me back. My baby needs me. I have that.